i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
