i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
