Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
