I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
