what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
