gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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