He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
