I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
