how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
