Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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