Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
