I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The air was thick with penises
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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