I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
