i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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