Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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