It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
