FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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