Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
