i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
