oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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