She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize