You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So much rum. So many feels.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
