He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
