i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
