Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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