The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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