You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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