you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
