She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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