Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
