the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
