She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
