I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
