And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
no, he came in my armpit
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
