i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
