Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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