Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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