Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
