Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
