girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
