the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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