What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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