I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
