so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
no you cant smoke seaweed
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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