Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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