Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
