I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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