So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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