Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
a search helicopter?!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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