So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
