and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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