It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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