My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
At least life still wants to fuck me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
