I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
