Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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