so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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