I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
