I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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