just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize
