It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize