3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
